Is This a Test?

Pretty sure I have had the worst two weeks of my life.  Pretty sure things have to get better from here or I will have a COMPLETE mental breakdown.  No lie.

Sooo first week of classes.  I was fortunate enough to have a spare afternoon with my soloist, Desiree on Monday.  We met, discussed Ophelia.  I walked her through the piece, we watched some clips, I played the music and we even had time to start some choreography which I hadn't planned to do until the weekend.  So, I thought I would actually be ahead of schedule.  Boy, was I wrong.  On Wednesday I had my first ensemble rehearsal of the semester with my other dancers and we review my drug addiction piece which went well and then we began setting choreography to a new piece of music which they weren't too happy about.  I left rehearsal in a horrible mood and then had to go to the second half of Leader of the Pack rehearsals.  Don't EVEN get me started on that show.  I love the dancing, honestly.  The singing is great but the rehearsal process is absolutely ridiculous.  Maybe I'm just used to working with Tim Brown but this is really unorganized and useless.  Most evenings the dancers don't get to do much and it just seems like we shouldn't be called in every night, but again, this guy is no Tim Brown.  

The rest of the week went okay until Sunday.  Sunday I was supposed to have another Ophelia rehearsal but finally getting to put the soloist w/ the ensemble.  We were also supposed to have a costume fitting so I had to take three trips from my house to the car to load everything in and half way on my drive to school I get three phone calls.  Half of my dancers were suddenly hit with this awful virus and could absolutely not dance.  I pulled over to the side of the road, cursed a little bit....okay so I cursed a lot and very calmly had to get back on the phone and call the 3 remaining healthy dancers and tell them not to come.  So, I turned around, unloaded the car and realized that since I wasn't having rehearsal that I now had to go to Leader of the Pack which was rehearsing during the time I'd be doing Ophelia.  Fun.

This week wasn't so bad until Wednesday.  We were hit with a lovely mixture of snow, slush, sleet, and freezing rain.  Oh, joy.  And so the school closed and I was once again, not able to have my rehearsal.  Sooooo tomorrow I will be meeting w/ my soloist for a LONG LONG LONG time to catch up from all the work that we were supposed to do last Sunday and hopefully I can catch the ensemble up in the next week....but I'm not getting my hopes up.  

It just seems like a good thing happens and then a bad thing has to happen right after it.  It makes my week kinda of wishy-washy and I hate it.  It confuses me and I don't know what to think about it all.  I wonder if I am being tested, to see just how much stress and crap I can handle at once because heaven knows that very soon my schedule will be even busier and even more stressful and I almost feel like this is setting me up for that.  I'm trying very hard to hold it all together and put on a good face but really I just want to hide away in my room and come out in a week when the world has decided to be nice to me.

Not only that, but I wish my boyfriend was a little more understanding.  He knows I'm very busy but I don't think he realizes just how stressed I am and its only the second week of classes.  I NEVER get to see him during the week and on the weekends I just want to be with him.  I'm sorry but I'm tired and I typically can only get work done on the weekends so all I want to do is sleep in, be with him, and do as much work as I can and he wants to go to parties or go to Griffo's house.  Don't even get me started on this Griffo kid.  I don't mind the guy but honestly, he sees him every day in class, he works with the guy, and now he wants to go to his house tomorrow night?  I'm sorry but the weekend is OUR time not our time with Griffo.  If he wants to see Griffo that much then maybe he should be in a relationship with him.  I'm not bitter at all.  

I'm very tired and very stressed and I wish he'd open his eyes and see that I just want to be with him and not have to do ANYTHING.

It will get better....

It has to get better...

One Week of Rehearsals Down/First Day of Classes

Last week we started rehearsals for Leader of the Pack.  For the most part the dancers were separated from the singer/actors.  We picked up the choreography very fast and were able to complete 7 dance numbers.  Nicely enough the director wants to showcase the dancers as much as possible so some of the songs turned into complete dance numbers for us which is great and very tiring.  The only problem I have w/ the show/rehearsals so far is the lack of organization.  There is no rehearsal schedule that was given to us so I have no idea what nights I am called to rehearsal.  Being as busy as I am with loads of other rehearsals to schedule, I don't appreciate that too much.  I'm excited to keep learning more however I don't think there is too much left which means the dancers will be doing a lot of sitting around while the actors and singers learn their material and get it blocked.  Guess I better bring a book or homework to do.  

Speak of homework, today was the first day of classes.  Well, I should say class...that didn't happen.  On Mondays I only have one class...at 8am I might add.  And the teacher was away at an event sooooo we were given our syllabus and were dismissed.  I was a little upset for having to get up so early for nothing but oh well.  

At noon, I FINALLY got to meet w/ my soloist for Ophelia who was in Disney all last semester.  We talked about the piece, I gave her all the production dates, we watched DVD clips of Hamlet, I talked her through the music and then we began choreography!  We got through half of the opening number which is great!  I was expecting to do any choreography w/ her until Sunday.  Watching her dance, I remember why I chose her as my soloist.  She picks things up so quickly and she actually moves very similar to me which is great for me because I can choreograph in front of the mirror and if something looks stupid on me it will more than likely look stupid on her hahaha.  I feel so much less stressed now that I was able to get started.  I can't wait until Sunday!!!!  

New Thoughts for a New Year

In the midst of all the Holiday cheer and festivities we are sometimes reminded of what is most important to us.  And seeing as though we just began a new year, I feel as though it is important to share this with all of you.

On December 23rd 2008, tragedy struck my small community.  A young boy I went to high school with passed away.  Sean graduated from Salisbury High School in 2007.  He was only 19 years old.  I cannot say that I knew Sean very well.  He was only in 10th grade when I graduated but he played basketball with my boyfriend and was dating a friend of ours.  The scariest part of Sean's passing is that we don't know why he died.  There was no evidence of suicide.  He just died.  I think we always want to know what causes a person to die because it scares us to think that at any moment we could just die.  But with that in mind it is important to take advantage of every moment we have on this earth.  To love is the most important thing we can do as humans and it was clear at Sean's viewing that he was loved.  

I just keep thinking about his parents and how I'm sure most of his presents were wrapped and under the tree.  He'll never open them.  If that were my child, I don't even know how I could bring myself to go home and look at those presents under the tree.  The holiday season will never be the same for them and I'm sure it will take a long time before they can look at the Christmas season and smile.  

It is always so sad when a young person dies but it helps to remind us all to be safe and not careless and to live as though each day were our last.  Sean's passing reminds us all of other young people who have died in our community.  Just a few short years ago, Randy died in a car accident.  He was engaged to a friend of mine and I have never seen such sadness.  She held on to me for hours as she cried for him.  Randy was reckless that day that he died.  Driving to fast in the rain.  Up until that day my boyfriend rarely wore his seat belt unless I told him to.  Now, he wears his everyday because of Randy.  

When I was in 10th grade two seniors died.  Chris Gore and Sean Cieri.  Going to school and seeing everyone's pain was very hard.  Salisbury is a small school so everyone knows each other.  There was not one person who was not affected by Chris and Sean's passing.  I remember going to the spot where they had died along the road.  It was just a few weeks before graduation.  

Death happens for a reason.  I believe that God was trying to remind us with Chris & Sean's passing that even though being a senior and being able to go on senior trips and parties is exciting and memorable, it can also be dangerous.  Chris and Sean were not careful that night.  Randy's death reminds us to cherish those that we love.  And that we live not only for ourself but for those that we love.  Every time we get in a car we remember Randy and how because of one bad decision, his fiancee was left all alone.  Sean's death this year reminds us to be thankful for the time that we have with our family and friends during the holiday season and not to take it for granted.  

I didn't want to start the New Year off with a sad note but sometimes you have to and sometimes it is for the best.  We cannot let the death of these boys be forgotten.  We must remember and learn from them in hopes of making our own lives better.  New thoughts for a new year.

Sean Aungst RIP 12/23/08

Christmas? Where did it go?

This has not been a very good start to my winter break.  It started off with me desperately searching for music for my soloist and going to what felt like the ends of the internet to find a costume for Ophelia.  Think I found one.  Maybe.  

Then I got incredibly lazy and did pretty much nothing for about a week except watch season one of HBO's True Blood and choreograph.  If you like vampires, sex, and vampires having sex then you'd like True Blood.  If there isn't sex at least every ten minutes then HBO wasn't doing there job.  This show is ridiculous.  First, I watched it because I thought it was the stupidest thing I had ever seen and then I actually got interested in the plot.  I love anything with vampires and I thought that since it was a Alan Ball creation that it would be amazing.  The writing is pretty darn bad but once I got into it I could easily look over the horrible dialogue.  Pretty sure I saw every woman's breasts except for Grandma and every guy's ass.  Which I didn't mind in the least.  Great  show.  Check it out.

I got a wonderful kidney infection due to my polycystic kidney disease right before all the Christmas festivities.  Lovely timing.  Lots of sleepless nights until I was able to get to the doctor and get antibiotics.  Other than that Christmas was pretty uneventful which was a good thing.  I had absolutely no energy and spent Christmas trying to catch up on two nights of missing sleep.  

I also just started watched Showtime's The Tudors.  It's not bad.  Another one of those show's all about sex.  I'm for some reason attracted to those haha.  I'll probably finish season one of that in the coming week.

Lots of relatives over this weekend.  I gotta get more motivated and do some serious choreographing, costume purchasing, and music shopping but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.  I'm incredibly lazy when I'm on break.  I think it's because I bust my ass so much during the semester with school work, rehearsals, and concerts.  Oh, well.  I'll get to it....tomorrow.

Anything but Finals

I have a HUGE final Friday afternoon of which I should probably be studying for at his exact moment but I feel so drained and done with this semester that I can't even bring myself to open my notes.  

I have done everything this week but study.  I've been writing like crazy.  Choreographing.  Editing music.  Filling out submission forms for the Undergraduate Women's Conference and sleeping...LOTS of sleeping.  Maybe I have mono?  I have no energy at all.  Notice all the things I've done this week can be done within the confines of my bedroom.  But I guess you can't have mono twice, can you?  Oh, well I guess I can't make excuses for pure laziness.  I keep trying to justify it and say was a busy and stressful semester I've had but it wasn't any worse than any other semester.  Must by the senioritis.  There I go...making excuses again.  

We had our first cast meeting tonight for Leader of the Pack.  We did a read through which was kinda pointless for us mere dancers who have no lines or singing and therefore did not receive a script.  So we basically just sat and listened to everyone else.  Still no other men save the lead.  Clair keeps saying that he is assembling the other men.  As long as I don't have to dress up as a guy, I'm cool with it.  

I suppose I ought to begin to be productive and study.  

Oh, but before I go...I want to wish a very VERY happy birthday to my good friend, Superman 

A Part of the Pack

Oooooh what a weekend.

Friday we gave a sneak peak performance of our Christmas concert, "Here We Come a Caroling!" The music ensembles sang/played for forty minutes and our dance ensemble only got to dance for 10 minutes!!!  We had to get in full hair and makeup for that!  And that's not even the best part.  When this little performance was advertised to the school, they said to "bring your lunch!" since the show was from 12-1, our communal lunch time on campus.  So, as I'm onstage and I can hear bags rustling and the smell of pizza and all I could think was, "Gosh, I'm hungry."  I know it was an informal performance and that it was over  lunch hour and that I should be thankful to have an audience at all, but how rude is it to eat during a performance?!  Ugh.  Oh, well.  

Later Friday afternoon I finally received the email I had been waiting for since Tuesday night.  I was cast in Leader of the Pack!!!!  They selected 10 dancers, all girls.  Who or where the male dancers are coming from, I have no idea.  We have a cast meeting on Tuesday night.  I'm really excited to start but I know once we get rolling I'm going to grow rather tired of the 60s music.  Next semester will be particularly busy and I'm not so sure how I'm going to handle it all but I'm thankful for this month long break to rest and prepare myself.  

Next semester I'll have 21 credits.  Cultural Dynamics of Movement, The Environment 101, Intermediate Modern, Senior Project Production Meetings, Student Dance Works Class, Directing for the Stage, Modern Company A, Kinesiology for Dancers, Fine Arts Seminar, Modern Company B, Rehearsals for my SDW piece, my senior project, Carrie's SDW piece, Cady's SDW piece, and Leader of the Pack rehearsals tucked in there somewhere.  I'm exhausted just listing it.  

I attempted to take things easy on Saturday.  I have a busy week of papers and studying ahead and I just wanted one day where I didn't have to do something school related.  Some of my former dance students from Encore who now perform for Allegro now that Encore closed, had a small performance Saturday afternoon and I decided to surprise them and come see it.  I was so happy to see everyone and it reminded me how much I missed teaching and not to brag, but how damn good I was at it too!  After the studio closed, I had parents calling me asking me where I was going to be teaching because they wanted their kids to go where I was going to go.  I got lots of hugs...some tears and a lot of smiles!  I miss my little girls so much!  They already look so much bigger!!!  I refuse to be one of those teachers who loses touch w/ people and who doesn't support their students.  I've sent all my former teachers the dates of my performances and they've never came and now I'm a senior.  

Today we had our full-length Christmas concert and boy did things start out badly.  We were told that the music ensemble would perform for 1 hour.  The program book listed three pages worth of music.  There was no way this was going to be done in one hour.  Of course as performers we were asked to arrive an hour before show time.  2 hours and 45 minutes later it was intermission.  That was the longest chorus concert of my life!  And then to go onstage and subject the audience to 40 minutes of Bach and modern dance!  UGH!  I love dancing to Bach, don't get me wrong but after rehearsing for three months and sitting through that, I was ready for a nap and mostly because I was bored not tired.  Afterwards we all went out to dinner which was nice because my best friend, Carrie is leaving campus tomorrow and I won't see her until January.  

Oh, well.  Not too much left this semester.  Papers due tomorrow.  Paper due Wednesday.  Final on Friday and sometime this week I have to videotape myself doing my Senior Project dance so I can put the videos on Facebook for my dancers.  Nothing will make me angrier than coming back in January and have to re-teach everything.  Well, and so I don't forget it too! :) 

Auditions & the End of the Semester

So much is going on these last couple of weeks.  My head is spinning just trying to keep all of it straight.

We had auditions this week for Leader of Pack.  I decided to audition as just a dancer, hoping (fingers crossed) that will require less rehearsals for my already extremely busy semester.  The audition was really easy, very generic 60s moves.  It seems like they are going for the more Mod look that was popular in the 60s which is great.  Only one guy showed up at the audition so I hope Clair (the man) has some men up his sleeve somewhere.  Callbacks are tonight but luckily none of the "just dancers" who auditioned are being called back.  That works really well for me because we have tech tonight for our dance concert on Sunday.  So, it would be really hard to be in two places at once.  Although I may prefer to be at callbacks.  It's a tough choice...60s rock-n-roll or Bach? Hmmm

I also had dance finals this week that were INCREDIBLY easy (thank God).  Our jazz final was a combination and anatomy questions.  My question:  "Where is your ulna?"  Pretty sure I got an A.  And my tap final was a combination called the Shim Sham.  Very easy.  I could have done that final the first month of school when we originally learned it.  Sometimes I wonder if I really am in college.

This morning was upsetting because it was my last English class.  I decided for some odd reason to take Contemporary British Literature (which I quite obviously don't need as a dance and theatre major).  I loved the class!  The books we read were amazing.  I could take that class all year if they offered it.  The last book we read that we finished for today was my favorite by far.  Case Histories by Kate Atkinson.  Amazing.  Anyone who likes detective novels (ahem Nick) should definitely read this book.  She has two other books that follow the detective from Case Histories so I will definitely be reading those over break.  The professor keeps trying to talk me into becoming an English Major (as if I need a third major my last year of college haha).  

Almost done.  I just keep telling myself that.  One more concert, one more paper and one more exam away from freedom.